PARA-PROS-DOKIANS: (Winston Churchill loved them.)
Here is the definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.
e.g. “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian..
- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
- Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
- I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
- Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
- I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (John Edwards will attest to that)
- A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you want to skydive again.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
- I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
- You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, then call whatever you hit, the target.
- Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- Where there’s a will, there are relatives.