Political One-liners

  • The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII
  • We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~Aesop
  • If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in political speeches there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven. ~Will Rogers
  • Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato
  • Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~Nikita Khrushchev
  • When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; Now I believe it. ~Clarence Darrow
  • Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~Unknown
  • Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~John Quinton
  • Politics is the art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer
  • I offer my opponents a bargain: If they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952
  • I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~Charles de Gaulle
  • Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. ~Ronald Reagan
  • Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson

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