How to Choose Someone to Marry
Probably the most important decision you will make in your life!!
- It will have more impact on your happiness here on earth than any other decision you can make (other than choosing to follow the Savior)
- It has eternal consequences
What to do (D&C 9:7-9):
1. Do your homework
- Being in the right places to find the right type of people (Young Single Adult Activities, Institute, Church, etc.)
- Doing the basic things (prayer, scripture study, etc.) on a daily basis
- Get to know a wide variety of people (through friendships and dating)
- Be willing to receive counsel from parents and Church leaders
- Study regularly your Patriarchal blessing
- Ask your Father (or other priesthood holder) for priesthood blessings
- Get to know them very well
- Realize that romantic feelings can cloud and overshadow spiritual feelings
- What kind of family do they come from
- Have they always been active and strong in the Church
- Establish your standards or expectations
- You should like to be with them
- They should be your best friend
- You should absolutely love them; You should feel twitterpated.
- You should be able to talk very comfortably and effortlessly with them
- You should be able to trust them
- Consult with your parents
- Look for someone that will make you a better person
- Do some investigative work (old friends, previous Bishops or Mission Pres., etc.)
- You should feel comfortable with them – not intimidated
- As you get to know the person, how do the both of you handle disagreements
- Remember that whatever shortcomings, weaknesses that you see in that person while you are courting – they will be magnified 10-100 times more. For example, if they lose their temper or are angry or mad around you while you are courting, they will be much, much worse as a spouse
2. Study it out in your mind
- Establish your list of desired qualities
- Narrow down your list to a half dozen of ‘must have’ qualities
- Evaluate or ‘judge righteously’ any prospects
- Keep to your list of ‘must have’ qualities
- If they don’t meet to your list, then either drop them or you will have to re-evaluate your list. If you re-evaluate your list and decide that one or more of the qualities are really not that important, you need to realize that romantic feelings might be overwhelming your judgment
3. Make a decision
- You shouldn’t feel pressured (esp. by them)
4. Take it to the Lord
- You should be very, very comfortable with the decision
- If the decision is not right, it will make you feel frustrated, unhappy, uncomfortable, trouble
- Afterwards, some doubts are normal. It is a reflection of the importance of the decision. But if you are constantly beset by doubts and uncomfortableness, don’t be afraid to reconsider the decision. It’s too important of a decision to make the wrong choice and still follow through with it.
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